An Open Letter to My Dear Darling Mr. Rieger

(since it seems to be the fashion among bloggers lately to write love letters to Mr. Rieger (annual salary $705,000 paid by your charitable donations)...not to be left out, here's mine.)

From: Paul of Tarsus, Rabbi Stephen Wise, Adam Shapiro, Finkie Kochleffel,

Subject: Lavish Praises for Distribution of emergency help money.

Dear Darling Mr. Rieger,

I am writing this letter after reading an article by Ms. Helen Freedman of AFSI that can be read in its entirety here. Ms. Freedman a well known lunatic right wing extremist complains that the UJC has chosen to distribute aid to both Jewish Israeli and Arab citizens of Northern Israel with a THIRD of the money going to Arabs.

How dare Ms. Freedman suggest that the ever loyal Arab citizens of Israel not have a FULL and EQUAL share in all aid monies provided by Jews for the sake of their brethren? Is she really suggesting that Jewish donations should only go to Jews, rather than the Arabs who cheered when the missiles fell and when their children died said Hizbullah wasn't at all to blame?

Should their support of the enemy somehow deny them the right to the charity funds raised abroad by Jews for the welfare of their own brothers and sisters? Should we for some inexplicable reason not provide money to the enemy whose Knesset MK's openly stated that they advised the terrorists to kidnap Israeli soldiers?

For Shame, I say! For shame! (For double shame)

Are we to be known as the sort of people who stop donating money to the people killing us? A thousand times nay! We should give them even more money! Personally I say we should double our donations for every time they cheer on the terrorists. Maybe triple. That will show them.

Surely after a while these loyal citizens of Israel will get so fed up with our generous donations, that they will abandon all support for terrorism and finally at last the joyfull day will have come when we will have at last won their hearts, minds and livers ushering in that New Middle East, Shimon Peres keeps talking about.

My dear darling Mr. Rieger (your name is like a symphony in my mouth) I will be very thrilled to have 1/3 of my money used to underwrite Arabs in Israel. I will be almost as thrilled to have 90 percent of my donation underwrite the swollen six figure salaries of UJC executives in every major and minor city in America. Truly you have shown us the real example of Jewish charity that hatefull narrowminded people like Ms Freedman and a certain Sultan Knish could not even begin to comprehend. For true charity is not charity to our brothers or neighbors but to our worst enemies driven by a delusional self-hatred that only our enemies are worth loving and never our own brothers and sisters.

Thank you, a thousand times thank you for you represent the true humanistic ethical spirt of Judaism that resounds forth from Reform Temples and JCC's. You make me proud to be a Jew Mr. Rieger and you are performing a great service to your country, Syria or Iran is it?

Lovingly Yours

Amalgmated Union of Deranged Liberal Jews


P.S. Please avoid reading the following book by all means.

P.P.S. A better use for your money than donating it to the UJC could involve throwing it out the window, making paper airplanes out of them or using them to carpet the limousines that UJC executives ride around in, paid for by your donations.

To donate to actual charities that help Jews in need, rather than terrorists and wealthy executives, consider Le'Maan Achai, Be'Ahavat Yisrael and Meir Panim. They actually do something unusual the UJC would never contemplate. They help Jews.

If you see or get any requests from the UJC or any associated federation, think paper airplane. It's what they do with your money anyway.