Poor Obama vs Poor Hillary - The Democratic Race Devolves into the Victim Olympics

The best way to find the worst candidate in the room is to find the one who spends the most time claiming victim status. That's what makes the Obama and Hillary race so damn tough, because neither of them will stop being victims for a moment and actually make a serious case as to why we should entrust them with a keychain, let alone the White House.

The sham that is the Democratic primaries has now finished the process of devolving into the Victim Olympics it was always destined to become as voters are invited to choose which candidate to feel sorry for, that nice Mr. Obama being smacked around by the Clinton machine or that nice Mrs. Clinton being smacked around by the Obama machine.

Personally I feel sorry for neither and anyone who does is an idiot, so feel free to cut the following out and pass it along to them.


Poor "Obama"

Yes poor Obama, he's just a junior Senator who clawed his way to power by stabbing his own mentor in the back and then exploiting the marriage problems of his two opponents, to make a run for the Presidency, a job he's as qualified for as he is to launch rockets for NASA. Poor Obama, all he has is a multimillion dollar war chest, several states in his pocket and the backing of most of Hollywood. Truly he's running against the odds.

From Day 1 the Obama camp began whining about how much they hated negative campaigning the way a mosquito begins piteously whining even before he starts drinking your blood. It's no surprise then that the Obama campaign began the negative campaign with their infamous remake of Apple's 1984 commercial that cast Hillary Clinton as a shrieking tyrant. Except being the cowardly liar that he is Obama wouldn't take responsibility for the commercial but was happy to have his campaign tout it as a breakthrough in internet campaigning. Today the Obama camp still produces its fair share of smears, slanders and slimes but whines non-stop that they're being savaged by the Clinton machine.

Now we have the pathetic spectacle of black politicians asking Bill Clinton to take it easy on Obama, because apparently the normal rules of a campaign don't apply to him. Bloggers and vloggers everywhere are whining that the Clintons are beating up on Obama. Somehow they got the impression that he's supposed to get a free pass to the White House because he's just so nice and good looking.

It would have been hard to find a Democratic presidential candidate more unqualified for the job than Hillary Clinton, yet somehow Obama managed to pull it off.

As a candidate, Obama has exactly three selling points.

1, he's charming.

2, he's black

3. he talks about change a lot

Oh did I mention he's black yet? If Bill Clinton has the "charming 3 day drunk" routine down pat, Obama has the minority boy scout routine down just as good. The problem with Obama's routine is that unlike Bill's it scripted. Force Obama to go off script and you can see in 5 seconds why he belongs anywhere but the Presidency. Obama delivers great scripted speeches but at press conferences and question and answer sessions he quickly devolves into completely insane statements about tornadoes killing tens of thousands in the midwest and using nuclear weapons in Pakistan.

The only people dumber than Obama are the people who think he represents some sort of great force for change or is a deeply ethical ex-cokehead. Obama is first and foremost a politician and he's a dirty politician. He ran this campaign dirty because he's run every campaign dirty from the moment he forced his mentor out of the race for her own seat by having his lawyers disqualify her signatures. Obama doesn't represent change, he represents the triumph of a completely unqualified candidate with a sharp political machine and the media on his side.

If you want a boy scout for President, there's millions of them across America. If you want someone who promises you change, vote any non-incumbent politician. If you want a black man, there's 38 million of them out there and most of them would be a better choice anyway. If you want Obama, grow up.


Poor "Hillary"

Poor, poor Hillary. She's just the former First Lady of a power couple that just missed being impeached and being imprisoned because the country still places some value on the dignity of a President, more than she ever did when she used the White House as the base for a crime ring that raised money from just about every convicted felon in America. By the time her husband's presidency had ended and her staff was stealing furniture and smashing equipment, it was the sad end to one chapter and the sad beginning of another.

After carpetbagging her way into the Senate seat from a state she didn't even live in and a state her husband routinely screwed on budget allocations, Hillary is now positioned to become President thanks to a powerful politician machine at her back. So over in New Hampshire Hillary almost cried? You would almost think that campaigning wasn't supposed to be tough. Ed Muskey cried in New Hampshire and unlike Hillary he cried for real and no one felt sorry for him either. Plenty of tears were shed by the people who went to jail because of the Clintons and those who died because of them. Yet we're expected to hold a national moment of silence because a politician on a campaign trail almost cried.

To hell with whether the moment was calculated or not, peering into the labyrinthine maze inside the reptilian minds of the Clintons is as worthless a task as playing three card monte in Times Square. It doesn't matter if she actually felt shaken or was only pretending, campaigns are tough and they're meant to be tough. As tough as a campaign is, the average Presidential term is a thousand times as hard. Anyone who can't hack it on the campaign trail, couldn't even begin to tackle the White House. But here's the irony, we know Hillary Clinton can and did. If she almost shed a tear, it wasn't because the going was tough, it was because the going wasn't going her way. That's the difference between a good loser and a bad loser.

Hillary Clinton isn't a victim. She's a millionaire with two undeserved mediocre terms in the Senate and the country's most powerful political machine on her side. She has a grown daughter, a string of dead pets and a husband who's either the worst thing or the best thing about her campaign. She's not being persecuted because she's a woman anymore than Obama is being persecuted because he's black, gender like race is a convenient shield for a woman who never had any pity to spare for the women her husband threatened, molested, blackmailed and abused. Hillary Clinton cares as much for women as Obama does for black men, both are egomaniacs who are adept at exploiting their minority status as a brand that shields their own crimes and deficiencies.

Hillary Clinton doesn't belong in this race or the Senate, unlike Obama though she has actual abilities beyond a winning smile and glib delivery. Her abilities though all involve secret files, knives planted in the back and ruthless maneuvering for power. If she's taken the brunt of the beating in this campaign, it's because her ruthlessness was obvious from the start. After decades of the Clintons, no one in the Democratic party is seriously in denial that she has the morals of a vulture with a stomachache while Obama benefits from the fact that virtually no one had heard of him until only a few years ago and new thieves on the block tend to pick more pockets than the same old ones everyone already knows to beware of.

Hillary Clinton is not a victim, she's the leading candidate for the President of the United States. She's a two term Senator and has more money and power than most men or women in America have ever had or will have. She wouldn't need to posture as a victim if she didn't have so many victims of her own left behind in a long trail all the way back to Arkansas. Anyone who feels sorry for her had better take a long hard look at that long trail and ask themselves if they're really amoral enough to wipe all that away just because on a campaign trail the woman responsible shed a tear.