California Bans Everything – 2024 Edition
California is where freedom goes to die. Its annual legislative orgies consist of politicians stealing billions of dollars for special interests and finding exotic new things to ban. In 2024, California Democrats finally banned plastic bags to ensure that anyone who isn’t shopping with a car or with a bag can’t buy more than a handful of items in a supermarket. They also made national news for trying to set the Constitution on fire by banning memes. And just for the hell of it, they also banned octopus farming. Octopus farming was banned on the theory that the undersea creatures, unlike California voters, are “highly intelligent” and have “long-term memory.” Also unlike California Democrats, octopi have “a high level of problem-solving ability” which means you couldn’t go wrong with replacing Gov. Gavin Newsom with an octopus. Unlike Gov. Newsom, octopi are also “known for their ability to learn, use tools, and exhibit behaviors that suggest a level of consciousness.” So Dems are bann